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MY DAUGHTER THE BROAD

Carátula Matador Records, 1996

This album was assembled from the best of the band's huge stockpile of unreleased work. It's The Frogs' "White Album", featuring everything from gay folk ballads ("The Boys with the Boys") to raging electric rock ("Reelin' & Rockin' #1"). The cover was designed by Dennis to resemble a "Little Golden Book" in an inspired moment of implied pedophilia.

  1. reelin' & rockin' #1
  2. children run away (the man with the candy)
  3. where's jerry lewis?
  4. i'm evil, jack
  5. april fools
  6. the boys with the boys
  7. i'm sad the goat just died today
  8. gwendyln macrae
  9. put your finger in the dike, stop the leak
  10. god is gay
  11. i love u (you know i don't)
  12. stand up for your rights (or sit down)
  13. lifeguard of love
  14. i'm hungry
  15. banjo bonnie
  16. which one of you gave my daughter the dope?
  17. candyland joe
  18. i had a second change done at the shop
  19. whos' sucking on grandpa's balls?
  20. grandma in the corner
  21. dreambox
  22. reelin' & rockin' #2

[RockMusic] [The Frogs]

reelin' & rockin' #1

1, 2, 3, 4
the frogs on your radio tonight and forever
looked at my watch it was quarter to one
i cummed
looked at my watch and it was quarter to two
i said "what did you use for lubricant baby? superglue?"
looked at my watch and it was quarter to three
i said "goddammit bitch i gotta take a pee"
looked at my watch and it was 6 to 4
25 or terry kath chicago
looked at my watch and it was quarter to 5
i said "i don’t know what you got down there bitch
but i’m being eaten alive"
looked at my watch and it quarter to 6
she said "eww that smells like bratwurst"
i said "well yours smells like tuna fish"
looked at my watch and it was quarter to eight
7... whoops
looked at my watch and it was 9 to 10
here i come again
looked at my watch and it was 10 to 11
fully extended twelve
looked at my watch and it was 13 o’clock
me and god just watchin’ scotty’s cock rock
looked at my watch and it said 14
that’s jail-bait baby
[RockMusic] [The Frogs] [My Daughter The Broad]

children run away (the man with the candy)

children in the school yard hard at play
man behind the trees with his candy on the way
run away
run away from the man with candy
run away
children with the candy in his van
drive to a secluded location, down with the pants
children run away with the man with the candy
today
back at the school yard he's hard at play
joining in with all the children's games
children run away from the man with the candy
children run away
the principal has a few words for the man
"better get out of here and take your van"
and then he's gone as he rides past your lawn
children run away
the man with the candy
has come to play with you today
[RockMusic] [The Frogs] [My Daughter The Broad]

where's jerry lewis?

where’s jerry lewis when you need the man
where’s jerry lewis when no one gives a damn
there’s my man up on the stage
and with the children about four in age
they’re crazy, they’re crippled but they’re lovely
(and young) and wild and lovely
(and crippled) and crippled (and crippled)
and it’s a crime, they’re lovely (and lovely)
where’s jerry lewis, who’s on the stage soon
who’s comin’ up (coppin’ a feel from a crippled baboon)
i’ll give my money to any baboon
who’s crazy enough to win my money
and there’s a cripple so i'll give some more
oh there’s a fiver for you son
i love you (i love you, too)
you lovely crippled boy (crippled)
the lovely crippled boy (crippled motherfucker)
where’s jerry lewis when you need the man come labor day each year
where’s jerry lewis (wheelchair blues)
where’s jerry lewis (mmm winner, you’re a real winner)
where’s jerry lewis?
[RockMusic] [The Frogs] [My Daughter The Broad]

i'm evil, jack

i don't mind livin' without a heart
i like fuckin' people over for a fuckin' start
i like to kill, nobody gonna tell me what t' do
i'll bite you black and blue
then later on when you're bleedin' dead
i'll be laughin' right over your fuckin' face
i'll be pissin' on your grave
i'll piss on your grandma's, tomb
i'm evil, i'm evil, jack
i don't have no confessions
i got no conscience, i take lives
as a bum would eat bread and butter, i'll take a life
as a bum would take swig from a bottle a whiskey
that's how i take your life missy
i'm evil, jack
there was a priest
who once tried to have a talk with me
i wouldn't listen
there was a priest
who once tried to have a speech with me
i got news for him, he's dead now
i'm evil, jack
you better you better keep a lookout behind your back
because i'm e-i-v-l j-a-c-k, jack
i got no hang-ups about nothin'
i'll take a life, i'll take more than a life
i'll take life over death
no you won't after you meet me
i'm evil, jack
you might as well have a heart attack
it's better than goin'...
the way i'll get a hold of you
the way you'll go
i'll let you know i'm evil, jack
[RockMusic] [The Frogs] [My Daughter The Broad]

april fools (he had the change done at the shop)

he had the change done at the shop
earlobes for cocks
april fools
he had his balls thrown over the top
like a mop of hair
april fools
he had his buttocks transferred
to his cheeks on his face
april doom
because then where would the poop come out of
ohh his mouth
well he decided he wanted a vagina down south
april fools
where his belly button once stood
now stood a cock with a mouth at the end that ate the food
well, what a peculiar guest he was
at summer swimming parties
what with the nipples protruding from his eyelids
and of course beneath his chin the penis
and on his knees the sacks, he had two put there
april fool
and jester wally jewel boy navel-eyed jack wiglet bill
you’ve had your fill of transplants please
you wish you could change back at will but...
tits coming off the backside, 69 to be exact
i thought it was pretty many but you be the judge
april dick
well, he became a woman then a man
then a dog, then a sheep, then a man, then a god
he had all put on his body
gimme 75 tits gimme 1400 balls
gimme cocks coming out of every living pore
ohh vaginas everywhere, a walking sex machine
ohh wonderful at the bathing parties
april fools
but this was no, no april fools
this was for real
this was goddamn scary when he walked through the village
when he took his place next to the other boys in line
to serve his patriotic duty
well, it’s kinda rude they way people stare
he said "i’d like all, all the things i had put on me
covered up with billions of pieces of hair"
[RockMusic] [The Frogs] [My Daughter The Broad]

the boys with the boys

i told you 'bout love
i told you you'd get it as soon as i got it
i told you 'bout love
i told you you'd get it as soon as i gave it to you
boys you don't know what I got
oh girl you'll never get none of mine
it's for the boys
my rocks I only get off and give 'em to the boys
the boys should get the jewels and the finest kind
oh run your hand through my spine
oh boy oh boy you really know how to grind
oh girls give up
the boys are coming off of the top with my head
there it goes whoops oh across the floor
past the jewels out the door
with the boys forget the girls
boys with boys girls get with the girls and
the boys with the boys
it's only right and natural
the boys with the boys
it's only what we should have done in the first place
fuck eve that was the problem from the start
if there would have been two adams
none of this other shit would've ever happened
with the boys
ahh ahh get rid of the girls get with the boys
ahh raise your dildos high
we're the boys we'll run this town up n' down
we know what we're doin' we're the boys
[RockMusic] [The Frogs] [My Daughter The Broad]

i'm sad the goat just died today

i'm sad because my goat just died today
i'm sad my goat just fell in the hay, hey
we're all sad the goat just died today
we're sad enough t' cry
sad the goat just died tonight
we're sad, his funeral though will be out of sight
we're so sad but in a way we're happy
he didn't suffer too much, he only got the cramps once
sad, oh the piece of poop
wouldn't come out of his belly
sad, we had t' call doc nelly
we're sad
[RockMusic] [The Frogs] [My Daughter The Broad]

gwendyln macrae

my daughter's missing
and so i'll call the authorities
i hope she hasn't been raped
this world's a mystery to me
ohh
she was a straight "a" student from tennessee
a little mentally ill
but as parents we never notice these things
she's missing
i hope she's missing us today
'cause we love you
gwendlyn macrae
ohh
the school said she'd never amount to much
and her boyfriends always wanted
at least a feel or a touch
and now she's missing
our daughter's missing today
i hope she hasn't been raped
this world's still a game, a mystery to us
as parents today
gwendyln macrae, we love you girl
gwendyln macrae gwendlyn macrae
where are you today?
gwendlyn macrae
[RockMusic] [The Frogs] [My Daughter The Broad]

put your finger in the dike, stop the leak

whatever you like
whatever you like
whatever you want
whatever you like
whatever you want
oh, put your finger in the dike, stop the leak
squeaky connie kim john
your teacup is full of water
i oughtta tell your mother on you
you weren't supposed to be seen with older men
younger ones are all right
crystal pete patty had a handjob with annie
oh her fanny boys twisted-up and greased-like
behind the boys there stood the older man
who controlled the flow of the dike
eventually tonight the leak stopped
all right yaah
oh tonight silly granny billy boy
he decided t' try t' plug
the bottom of the ocean with his thumb
that didn't work it was too small
so he tried his rump
that seemed to do the trick (prick)
[RockMusic] [The Frogs] [My Daughter The Broad]

god is gay

as god is my judge, god is gay
as god is my judge
there was something strange about lucifer
something wrong with his hand
there was something strange about jesus
he didn't follow lucifer's command
lucifer said "jesus be straight"
jesus said "the gates would never open if this was true"
ohh something about a vision in a park
of jesus holding hands with an angel named lark mcgee
lucifer therefore lost his wings
and all the angels sing, all the angels sing
god is gay
god is gay
[RockMusic] [The Frogs] [My Daughter The Broad]

i love u (you know i don't)

i love you and i know you know i do
no arms, no legs but yes i’ll be true, i love you
i’ll visit you often because
i i’ve got a thing for (boy) you know i do
i’ll be here t' see you through
i love you, you know i don’t
what a burden it is
taking care of little creeps like you
i love you, i’ll take care of you
you know i do not care anymore if you live
you’re gonna ride that miniature pony i bought you
you better get some legs and some arms too ‘cause
i told you before
i don’t love you
you know i do
[RockMusic] [The Frogs] [My Daughter The Broad]

stand up for your rights (or sit down)

stand up for your rights to be women
stand up for your rights to be men, to be men
stand up for your rights to be humans
stand up for your rights to be gods
people gonna stop you
people gonna make you what they are
which is sad and depressed and
stand up for your rights to be animals
stand up for your right to be a vegetable
stand up, you got to stand up
well, lot of disrespect going down
towards the minerals
just because you’re a rock
don’t mean that you ain’t got a big fat lot of love
stand up for your rights
stand up for your rights
stand up for your rights or sit down
[RockMusic] [The Frogs] [My Daughter The Broad]

lifeguard of love

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
ooh yeah, yeah
lovely love at the beach with the men
in their nice tan suits
some without anything on
a lifeguard all year long
all year long i’m a lifeguard
all year long i’m a lifeguard
rescuing men, i’ll help you out
you look a little stiff there man
looks like shark bite, help me
that looks like it needs some sucking out
oh yeah
just a lifeguard
i’m a lifeguard on the beach for love
lifeguard, lifeguard of love
fuck off, fucked up
it’s wrong when men love women you know
men should only be with men
[RockMusic] [The Frogs] [My Daughter The Broad]

i'm hungry

i'm hungry, feed me now
i gotta eat somethin'
give a shit, give me a piece of a cow
i'm hungry, come on where's the meat?
give me a piece of fruit, not that kind
i'm hungry
give a shit about
lyin' around in a nursing home watchin' tv
give me a piece of anything
hungry, i don't wanna be your friend
i'm hungry, give me what you got on your plate
i'll... get your hands off... i'll take what i want
i'm hungry, i deserve this food
don't you dare not feed me food
i'm hungry, who isn't?
got something stuck in my throat
probably a piece of pheasant
what d' you put in this food? you poisoning me?
my throat is bent, my throat is all bent up
help nurse, my throat, the bent, the bent throat
i got a bent throat
what d' ya mean what the fuck' the pr...
the throat is bent
you can't eat food with a bent throat
you try fooding... eat
you eat, yeah you eat all right
i watch you eat, i never get no food
what do i get leftovers, leftover leftovers
give me some rightovers for once
my throat wait a minute
but i'm hungry, i'm hungry
oh man i am hungry
[RockMusic] [The Frogs] [My Daughter The Broad]

banjo bonnie

banjo bonnie, laced with honey
next to the corn bees in flight
they’re nothing like the bee from your queen flowered teats
banjo bonnie, father william’s honey
sweet and teaty buzzin' around, you sexy thing
your banjo’s playing songs to attract all the boys
but you prefer girls which is natural
banjo bonnie, william bring the honey
her butter-corned loins are burning like bumble bee wax
the teeth of the local bees are becoming annoyed with you
you’re taking all the business away
your banjo playing so sweetly like the honey
it's so sweet and funny
here comes the fire truck again
it's all the honey bees are gonna land you this time
you can’t be put out by any fire truck i know of
that’s right because it’s
banjo bonnie your fanny is funny
when it’s buttered up and eaten by william
and the other honey bees laced with honey on their wings
and they’re flying, teats exposed
all around everyone’s laughing
but the dead bees you’ve eaten now
[RockMusic] [The Frogs] [My Daughter The Broad]

which one of you gave my daughter the dope?

(if i ever catch the guy who)
ok, which one of you guys gave my daughter the dope?
she ain’t livin’ no more
i just came from the coffin
cope, i’ll cope, i’ll cope with her goddamn death
but
which one of you guys gave my daughter the dope?
oh come on one of you fuckin’ coke addicts own up
and tell me, tell me how t' cope
you cope with a closed casket
full of doped-up daughter dope
ok
which one of you fuckin’ addicts
gave my daughter the dope?
one of you measly bastards is gonna pay
i’ll tell ya
don’t tell me t' cope
how the fuck do you cope
when a ten year old daughter’s life
is fuckin’ snuffed
my wife just had an operation too
so i wanna ask
which one of you creeps gave my daughter the dope?
this ain’t no fuckin’ soap opera
this is my goddamn daughter’s life here
we’re talkin’ about
i wanna know
which one of you bastard dogs
gave my daughter the dope?
it ain’t no miracle raisin' her up from the grave but i’m gonna try
which one of you gave my daughter the dope?
[RockMusic] [The Frogs] [My Daughter The Broad]

candyland joe

candyland joe with his ass in a sling
he won't be doing much playing around this weekend
nevertheless he'll do his best
getting it on with black chicks by the dozen
he doesn't know the possibilities of aids
he's never heard of these things
he's been a secluded priest
all his life he's raped sisters
oh la la, la dee dee
all the candy's falling out of his rectum
he keeps it in his rec room after dark
in the light of day all the candy melts away
candyland joe with his ass in a sling for this weekend
next week he'll be available again for business
by then ohh
[RockMusic] [The Frogs] [My Daughter The Broad]

i had a second change done at the shop (now i've added animal cocks)

i had a second change done at the shop
now i've added animal cocks
anything you can imagine i've got on
i added hippo balls and rhino balls to my eyelids
a couple up my nostrils and i'm much happier now
i'm really gay, so happy
giraffe balls for earlobes again
there's nothing like havin' a few friends attached
i may hatch, i may have to hatch
some impala balls to my ankles
and these zebra stripes
i gotta have a couple right up my backside oh yeah
animal parts, the change was real sharp
second change at the shop there's a discount
ohh added some other stuff
i don't know when i'll end
they say you can only put on so much
i intend to put them all on just like noah's ark
right on top of one another if i have to
oh gorilla balls right underneath my tongue
it sounded like fun but it's hard t' eat
yeah it's hard t' eat with the squirrel balls
hangin' down from the roof, roof of my mouth
ruth was the attendant nurse by the way
who helped in the shop
let's give her a hand, lovely ruth
sloth balls and cocks
and i've added them all on top, a full mop of hair
impala balls
ah cheetah nuggets
lots of cheetah nuggets
[RockMusic] [The Frogs] [My Daughter The Broad]

whos' sucking on grandpa's balls since grandma ain't home tonight?

baby
who's sucking on grandpa's balls
since grandma ain't home tonight?
slut
[RockMusic] [The Frogs] [My Daughter The Broad]

grandma sitting in the corner with a penis in her hand going "no, no, no, no, no"

grandma sitting in the corner with a penis in her hand
going "no, no, no, no, no"
it only goes to show
grandma sitting in the corner with a penis in her hand
going "no, no, no, no, no"
it only went to show
when the ambulance arrived
there wasn't a cock alive
grandma in the corner with a penis in her hand
going "no, no, no, no, no"
grandma in the corner with a beehive in her hand
going "no, no, no, no, no"
when the ambulance arrived today
all the penises were playing in the hay
grandma in the corner in her hand with a
penis going "no, no, no, no, no"
the ambulance man
saying "no, no, no, no, no"
grandma, oh grandma
you old fucking cunt bitch grandma
i'm gonna wring
i'm gonna wring the penis from your hands
"oh no, no, no"
grandma, grandma
"no, no, no, no, no"
in the corner with your hands
you wrung your hands from the penis
you crazy witch
[RockMusic] [The Frogs] [My Daughter The Broad]

dreambox

dreambox, dreambox
baby's got a dreambox
wanna get inside your panties tonight
creambox, creambox
baby's got a creambox
wanna get inside your panties tonight
dreambox, dreambox
baby's got a dreambox
wanna get inside your panties tonight
dream
[RockMusic] [The Frogs] [My Daughter The Broad]

reelin' & rockin' #2

spare me some cock brother?
looked at my watch and it came on one
so did i
looked at my watch and it said 2, 3, 4
time sure flies when you're fucking
looked at my watch and it was going on 5
well, the more the merrier
looked at my watch and it was 666
devil cock
looked at my watch and it was 7 on the head
i haven't had this good of skull in years
looked at my watch and it was 899
the number to call with a sperm overdose hotline
looked at my watch and it was 10, 11, 12
michelle, my belle
rock on, wolverine weiner breath
looked at my watch and it was 13 to 14
that’s how i like 'em
rock on

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©1999 Rafael González-Ripoll Giménez

[RockMusic] [The Frogs] [My Daughter The Broad]