Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
(Young - Young)

If you're havin' trouble with your high school head
He's givin' you the blues
You wanna graduate but not in 'is bed
Here's what you gotta do -
Pick up the phone
I'm always home
Call me any time
Just ring
36 24 36 hey
I lead a life of crime

Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
Dirty Deeds and they're Done Dirt Cheap

You got problems in your life of love
You got a broken heart
(She's) He's double dealin' with your best friend
That's when the teardrops start - fella
Pick up the phone
I'm here alone
Or make a social call
Come right in
Forget about him
We'll have ourselves a ball

Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
Dirty Deeds and they're Done Dirt Cheap

If you got a lady and you want her gone
But you ain't got the guts
She keeps naggin' at you night and day
Enough to drive you nuts -
Pick up the phone
Leave her alone
It's time you made a stand
For a fee
I'm happy to be
Your back door man

Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
Dirty Deeds and they're Done Dirt Cheap

Concrete shoes, cyanide, TNT
Done Dirt Cheap
Neckties, contracts, high voltage
Done Dirt Cheap

You never told me where you came from
You never told me your name
I didn't know if you were legal tender
But I spent you just the same
I didn't think it could happen to me
But I fell in love in the first degree 

It was love at first feel            
(I was touched with too much)

They told me it was disgustin'
They told me it was a sin
They saw me knocking on your front door
And they saw me smile when you let me in
You and me baby we're all alone
Let's get something goin'
While your mum and dad ain't home 

It was love at first feel
(Feel good just like I knew it would)

I'm ever upper class high society
God's gift to ballroom notoriety
I always fill my ballroom
The event is never small
The social pages say I've got
The biggest balls of all

CHORUS:
I've got big balls
I've got big balls
And they're such big balls
Dirty big balls
And he's got big balls
And she's got big balls
But we've got the biggest balls of them all

And my balls are always bouncing
My ballroom always full
And everybody cums and cums again
If your name is on the guest list
No one can take you higher
Everybody says I've got
Great balls of fire

CHORUS

Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when they're held for pleasure
They're the balls that I like best
My balls are always bouncing
To the left and to the right
It's my belief that my big balls
Should be held every night

CHORUS

And I'm just itching to tell you about them
Oh we had such wonderful fun
Seafood cocktail, crabs, crayfish...

Ball sucker

I'm a rocker
I'm a roller
I'm a right out of controller
I'm a wheeler
I'm a dealer
I'm a wicked woman stealer
I'm a bruiser
I'm a cruiser
I'm a rockin' rollin' man

Got slicked back hair
Skin tight jeans
Cadillac car
And a teenage dream

I'm a rocker
I'm a roller
A rockin' rollin' man

Got lorex socks
Blue suede shoes
V8 car
And tattoos

I'm a rocker
I'm a roller
A rockin' rollin' man

I'm hot
And when I'm not
I'm cold as ice
See me comin'
Step aside
Or pay the price
What I want I take
What I don't I break
And I don't want you
With a flick of my knife
I can change your life
There's nothing you can do

Cause I'm a problem child

Make my stand
No man's land
On my own
Man in blue
It's up to you
The seed is sown
What I want I stash
What I don't I smash
N' you're on my list
Dead or alive
Got a .45
N' I never miss

Cause I'm a problem child

Every night
Street light
I drink my booze
Some run
Some fight
I win they lose
What I need I like
What I don't I fight
N' I don't like you
So say bye bye
While your still alive
Cause your time is due

Cause I'm a problem child

Well me and the boys
Are out to have some fun
Gonna put on a show
Come on, let's go

CHORUS:
There's gonna be some rockin'
There's gonna be some rockin'
There's gonna be some rockin' at the show tonight

Every night
There's a rock 'n' roll Queen
Gonna quiver and quake
Gonna shake her thing

CHORUS
(It's a rock 'n' roll show)

We got a big fat sound
Wanna share it round
Got a big bass drum
Gonna have some fun

CHORUS

The following is a true story
Only the names have been changed 
To protect the guilty -

Well I left my job in my home town
And I headed for the smoke
Got a rock 'n' roll band and a fast right hand
Gonna get to the top
Nothing's gonna stop us - no nothing.

So if you got the money
We got the sound
You put it up and we'll put it down
If you got the dollar
We got the song
Just wanna boogie woogie all night long,
Yeh boogie

I've got holes in my shoes
I've got holes in my teeth
I've got holes in my socks
I can't get no sleep
I'm trying to make a million -

And I've got patches on the patches
On my old blue jeans
Well they used to be blue
When they used to be new
When they used to be clean -

And I've got a mama whose a hummer
Whose keeping me alive
While I'm in the band doing drinking with the boys
She's working 9 to 5
(knows her place that woman)

Just you wait -
One of these days see me driving round town
In my rock 'n' Rolls Royce with the sun roof down
And my bottle of booze (no summer time blues)
Shouting out, "Look at me"
In my rock 'n' roll voice

No it ain't no fun waiting round to be a millionaire
REPEAT

"Hello Howard, how ya goin',
 My next door neighbour"

"Oh yea,
 Get your fuckin' jumbo jet off my airport"

It's another lonely evening 
And another lonely town
But I ain't too young to worry 
And I ain't too old to cry
When a woman gets me down.

Got another empty bottle 
And another empty bed
Ain't too young to admit it 
And I'm not too old to lie
I'm just another empty head.

That's why I'm lonely
I'm so lonely
But I know what I'm gonna do -

I'm gonna ride on
Ride on
Ride on, standing on the edge of the road
Ride on, thumb in the air
Ride on, one of these days I'm gonna
Ride on, change my evil ways
Till then I'll just keep dragging on.

Broke another promise
And I broke another heart
But I ain't too young to realize
That I ain't too old to try
Try to get back to the start.

And it's another red light nightmare
Another red light street
And I ain't too old to hurry
Cause I ain't too old to die
But I sure am hard to beat.

What am I gonna do -
I'm gonna ride on
REPEAT

She said she'd never been
Never been touched before
She said she'd never been
This far before
She said she'd never liked
To be excited
She said she'd always had
Had to fight it (and she never won)
She said she'd never been
Never been balled before
N' I don't think
She'll ever ball no more (fixed 'er good)

Hey Squealer - when I held her hand
    Squealer - made her understand
    Squealer - when I kissed her lips
    Squealer - and sucked her finger tips
    Squealer - she started getting hot
    Squealer - made it hard to stop
    Squealer - it got too much
    Squealer - I think I've got the magic touch